27 Mar The Truth About Intimacy
Some of you have responded to the 28-Day Intimacy Challenge. Here’s what you had to say:
Cara said, “At first, the challenge was fun and easy but it felt harder as it progressed. I found myself a bit anxious when the emails arrived”. Playful/Fearful/Vulnerable
Steve said, “I sent the “make love” challenge to my wife today who said, “On a Thursday night?!”. He added, “Should I take that as a maybe?” Uncertain/Vulnerable
Mike said, “I loved the challenge but definitely decided to skip some of them because they were things I’d never do”. Pleasured/Restricted
Melissa said, “I did this without my partner knowing. He asked, ‘what’s gotten into you?’ several times. I noticed that when I gave him attention, he attempted to connect with me more”. Mysterious/Curious/Connected
Sasha said, “When we had to name 3 things we appreciated about our partner’s personality, my husband named things I did not expect. It felt good to hear”. Appreciated/Surprised
For 28 days, you participated in an intimacy challenge. There were warm and fuzzy moments built into these exercises. But what about the moments where you might have squirmed a bit? How did that inform you? Did you ignore those feelings or did you tune into them?
The responses above demonstrate the varied emotions that can arise when you attempt to connect to another person. True connection requires knowledge of self and commitment to self while also making room for your partner’s thoughts, feelings, needs and desires.
Gestalt therapist, Marylou Shack, refers to this as “moments of mutuality”. These are moments when you fully reveal yourself to your partner and you feel fully seen by them. They in turn fully reveal themselves to you and feel fully seen by you. Believe it or not, these moments are rare in most relationships.
The 28-Day Intimacy Challenge offered daily suggestions to help you practice this emotionally, mentally, physically and sexually. How did you do?