09 Nov Sex Is Political
For those of you who prefer audio/visual, I’ve created a video for you that reflects the words of this blog post. For those who prefer to read, see below.
Today is a new day.
Many of you read my Open Letter To Donald Trump, written a few weeks prior. Some of you responded to me in gratitude, others in disagreement. I appreciated that you read my words and offered your own ideas, even when they differed from mine.
Many of you have expressed struggle, anxiety, disbelief, violation, marginalization and re-traumatization at what seemed like a circus of an election. I felt it too.
This blog is specifically for you.
We cannot ignore the impact of the world, our country or our institutions, on us. We do not live in isolation or in a bubble.
The news, social media, books, magazines, podcasts, talk shows all shape and impact our belief system. We are all interconnected.
While some of you walk away in celebration that your candidate will lead our country, the rest of us feel shock, confusion and profound grief.
For me, I am allowing myself to feel, cry, stamp my feet or even retreat as I grapple with what all of this means to me and for me.
To sit with my own pain is to learn from it. Here are the questions I am contemplating today:
- What is this experience teaching me?
- What does it tap into within me?
- How do I make meaning from this outcome?
- How do I try to understand the “other” side without polarization?
- How do I contribute to the causes I believe in going forward?
- How do I “go high?”
The outcome of this election could have significant ramifications for my family yet I cannot allow my fear to paralyze me. In fact, I feel the opposite effect. Rather than stay in my grief, I can already feel myself internally mobilizing.
I have made a decision.
I will not operate or live from a place of fear, hate, ill will or disgust. My greatest powers lay in how I shape my thoughts and how I enact them. I continuously breathe deeply and hold faith that in the larger picture, we will continue to improve the outcomes for our country, our people, especially our children.
I think about who I need to talk to, what group I need to join, where I need to engage to exercise empowerment in what feels like a disempowering outcome.
When I encounter difficult life circumstances, I am, at times, shocked at my own resilience. I can feel it emerging again. I am already rising strong.
I know of my capabilities and yours. I know that you have it within you to rise up and live each day with a new sense of determination, strength and calling. Do not operate from defeat but from a place of purpose.
Until this election, I have not come forward professionally to stand on the side of any politician. However, sex is political.
My role in your life is to help you strengthen your intimate relationship, including how to create and sustain a satisfying sex life.
Let me declare this now without offense, shame or apology:
I stand in support of the sexual rights and freedoms of all persons. I particularly support women’s rights to choose, their right to sexual safety, sex education and sexual medical treatment and their right to equality in our country.
I support the right of all adult, consensual persons to create and engage in marriage, to have and raise children and to live without the threat of violence or harm.
As a woman small business owner, wife, mother and daughter, I proudly pledge to donate a portion of income from my business to organizations that support these rights. While I have done this in the past, my efforts matter now more than ever.
It is because of my passionate convictions that I can support you to learn how to love fully, no matter what side of politics you and I stand on.
- Your relationship satisfaction matters to me.
- Your ability to find, give and receive love, in all of its beautiful forms, matters to me.
- Your sexual safety, rights, education, engagement and comfort levels matter to me.
I will continue to do this most important work, privately with you and through our political process.
Tell me, what do you plan to do? I’d love to hear from you here.