The Magic In Your Marriage

The Magic In Your Marriage

I just returned from a weekend of wedding bliss. Through the legalization of same-sex marriage in NJ, my beautiful niece and her stunning bride declared their unconditional love for each other before 150 family members and friends. This right, this ritual, to love who we want to love, to declare it, freely, easily and legally, is finally theirs. My heart overflowed with joy for them.

As I listened to their thoughtful ceremony, I began to think of how many couples forget the sacredness of this union. The big celebration of this love settles into predictable, everyday routines. Predictable doesn’t have to mean less magical. In fact, there is a certain magic that happens everyday in the ordinary.

In their ceremony, a guest read the popular poem, The Art of Marriage by Wilferd A. Peterson. As I listened, I felt deeply moved, thankful for the reminder of what makes a great marriage. In my professional and personal life, I know these words to be true.

For those of you who are married, consider your own marriage. What stands out to you about your wedding day? What made it sacred? How do you honor each other now? Does it align with the wise words of this author?

The Art of Marriage

Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens.

A good marriage must be created.

In the art of marriage the little things are the big things.

It is never being too old to hold hands.

It is remembering to say “I love you” at least once a day.

It is never going to sleep angry.

It is at no time taking the other for granted;

the courtship should not end with the honeymoon,

it should continue through all the years.

It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.

It is standing together facing the world.

It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.

It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude

of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.

It is speaking words of appreciation

and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.

It is not looking for perfection in each other.

It is cultivating flexibility, patience,

understanding and a sense of humor.

It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.

It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.

It is finding room for the things of the spirit.

It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.

It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal,

dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.

It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.

It is discovering what marriage can be, at its best.

We can all carry the dreaminess and magic of our wedding days into our familiar, everyday routines. It’s all right here. The blueprint for a good, healthy, happy marriage, in one thoughtful poem.

Carolynn Aristone

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