01 Jul What To Do With Your Lonely, Sexless Marriage?
As CEO of The Center for Intimate Relationships, I have experienced a whirlwind of events in the last few weeks! So many good, juicy developments in the works for you, I cannot wait to share as these programs unfold! But more on that in a future blog post.
Readers have been writing to me in increasing amounts. It is so clear to me that individuals and couples like you continue your search for meaningful, loving, passionate relationships. Here’s the latest from the Q&A page:
Q. I love my boyfriend deeply and he loves me. The problem is that I am not physically attracted to him but he is to me. We are both in our sixties, but he has minimal sexual experience and regards fellatio as degrading to a woman and cunnilingus as gross. To be honest, sex is very boring with him so I have pretty much lost my libido, although I do occasionally use my vibrator. He is truly a wonderful man in other ways, but I would be happy if he lost his sexual desire. Is there any way to fix this issue? I won’t leave him, as I have had a lot of bad relationships and am not willing to end up in another crappy relationship with a weak man or end up in love with someone who doesn’t love me.
Q. I’ve felt lonely in my marriage for a while. I’ve told my husband that I need to feel connected, that we need to do things together. Share an interest, go for a walk, talk, etc. I’ve told him for years that I need more than a buddy or a roommate, that I want a partner. But I don’t think he’s ever truly understood because nothing changes. I didn’t realize how unhappy I had become until I went on vacation with friends (my husband did not come because it wasn’t his “thing”). While on vacation, I felt like myself again…for the first time in I don’t know how long. I made some new friends, partied and ended up cheating on my husband. While I don’t think what I did was right or good, I don’t regret it or feel bad about it. And that bothers me…I think my marriage is over, I think it has been for a while. But now my husband is acting shocked, as though this came out of nowhere. He doesn’t believe in divorce and thinks that we can fix it. At this point, I’ve been telling him that I felt like his roommate for going on 3 years, and I can’t remember the last time that I had sex with him sober. Is this even worth trying to salvage? Is it even worth trying? Or are we both better off just walking away…
How can I help you take your relationship from good to great? Schedule a consult so we can explore where your relationship is now and where you want it to go.